I am a 27-year-old woman who is passionate, hardworking, and lovable in the sight of my parents but in the view of society, I am a young woman at a ripe age for marriage. Even if my parents do not think of my marriage, the society will force them with proposals. Matchmaking is not just matching individuals together for purpose of marriage, but it has a lot of hidden truth, which remains untold. They run background checks, match horoscopes, check the caste, calculate family wealth, and even discuss dowry. No one will understand unless we are the one facing it.
Sometimes I wonder how the situation was in the 1980s. My parents used to share their experience of how they became a perfect match for each other. I was confused. Questions about how will arranged marriage work puzzled me. We do not know the character/behaviour of the individual with whom we are going to share our entire life. While many other questions popped in my mind, my parents did not stop searching for a “perfect match.” I heard that “God is a perfect matchmaker.” If it is so why there are more broken relationships in the world? Will God make a perfect match after seeing their caste, colour, money, fitness, etc?
Romans 2:11 “For God shows no partiality” struck me hard. Nowadays we have caste-based Matrimonial sites for perfect matchmaking. To lure rich and perfect matches many share false information too. The fierce threat of “(dis)honour” killing rattles love across castes. The recent news articles on “(dis)honour” killing threatens me. I was born and brought up in a middle-class family. My parents never spoke about caste atleast until I completed my schooling. I have never gone outside, either, to explore. The places I most visited were my home and school. I was ignorant and unaware of the society until I step into my college days.
Being inside a small circle and stepping into the biggest world is too much for me. I was overwhelmed by the realities around me. I was not able to comprehend what is going on. I have seen discrimination in movies but to experience, and see it happen to people around me was a horrifying. I thought it was only the 70s, 80s, and some 90s born who have such discriminating thoughts. However, it was only later that I understood that all caste-based and other kinds of discriminations are still a reality that remains unspoken and left unattended.
Caste-based violence continues to be unabated in our country, with the rapid rise in murders, divorces, abuses, domestic violence “(dis)honour” killing and so on. The notions of identity and self are entwined very closely with caste for many perpetrators of "(dis)honour" killing. This is perhaps considered dirty in the sight of God. How shall we overcome all these? I remember the famous dialogue from the movie “Pariyerum Perumal” in which the hero says “Until you treat us a Human we will still be dogs” so when are we going to consider everyone as humans rather than discriminating people?
Prayer
God of justice, we pray for all those who have become prey to hatred and inhumanity and for those loved ones who are left behind to mourn, for the souls of those whose hearts are cold. Lord in your grace and mercy we pray that you would give justice and peace to all those that have been cruelly and unfairly treated by their fellow man, help us to continue to pray with understanding hearts, we ask this in the precious name of the Lord and saviour. Amen
Author: Princess Shamili
About the Author: Shamili, is currently working with the Student Christian Movement of India as the Programme Secretary, South Tamilnadu Region.
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