In Indian wedding preparation ceremonies like Haldi and Mehandi are integral and auspicious. A woman with no child of her own is not allowed to apply Haldi to soon to be bride. It is believed that the bride to be may also remain childless. We ostracize infertile couples by regarding them as “bad omens” for young couples. They are often seen as signs of unhappiness and curse, which can be transmitted.
God made Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden, “and God blessed them, and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and have dominion over it” (Gen 1:28). This verse has many interpretations and is one of the roots for us to impress upon the notion of progeny as blessed, designed and ordained by God.
From biblical times until now, having babies is considered as a blessing and as Gods favour, while being barren is looked as a curse from God. The Bible depicts the problem of temporary infertility in several stories like, God promised Abraham and Sarah a child, but she did not bear a son, Isaac, until age 90 (Genesis 11: 30). Isaac, Rebekah’s husband, prayed fervently, and God answered, resulting in the births of Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25:21). Rachel prayed, and at long last God “opened her womb.” She bore two sons, Joseph and Benjamin (Genesis 30:1; 35:18). Elizabeth in her old age gave birth to John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ (Luke 1:7, 36).
The barrenness of Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel (the mothers of the Israelite nation) is significant in that their ability to finally bear children was a sign of the grace and favour of God. A notification of a women’s infertility can also serve as a harbinger of the miraculous birth of a divinely chosen male leader, a patriarchal affirmation of hierarchy.
These all stories create an aura of being blessed and being rejected by God. Infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant after 12 months of regular, unprotected intercourse. The problem of infertility can be a very difficult one, especially for couples who have looked forward to children all their lives. Christian couples can find themselves asking “Why us, Lord?”
Surely God wants Christians to be blessed with children to love and nurture. For physically healthy couples, one of the most heart-wrenching aspects of infertility is not knowing whether it is a temporary or permanent situation. If it is temporary, how long must they wait? If it is permanent, how do they know that, and what should be their course of action?
In today’s world when acceptance from society and God also plays a role in everyone’s life, it becomes much more important to have descendents to carry the blood line and name, with special reference to Indian tradition.
Being infertile for couple is not only a physical pressure, of feeling incompetent, it revolves around a lot of other factors like, health, who has to be blamed, societal pressure, family pressure and one becomes a pressure cooker. Sounds light but it is very heavy burden to bear.
We have never explored the avenues of Adoption and being a foster parent. We love what God has said, but we find it difficult to feel one big family with others. Blood line of Jesus as mentioned in Matthew chapter one itself is a reflection for us all, it includes, prostitutes and non-Jews. If Blood line of Jesus is acceptable for us why do we find adoption of a baby to be scrutinized by Purity and whose blood lens?
If progeny is of so much vital importance then why did God allow Jesus’ blood line to end and start it as a divine progeny irrespective of people’s origin physical state as children of God?
If we can explore and try answering these questions we will have attitude to respect and support families with infertility issues not condemn or ostracise them for being cursed and impure.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above...” (James 1:17). Knowing and accepting these truths will go a long way to filling the aches and yearning in the hearts of an infertile couple and society at large. We are more concern today about the infertility of a couple, without being mindful of our infertility at heart to do good and justice (Isaiah 54:1).
Prayer
Oh God of life, we confess that we have not been caring and kind to one another as you had commanded us. We were often judgmental and looked down on the couples who do not have children. Help us to respect and support them through loving relationships. Amen.
Author: Rev. Jyoti Singh Pillai
About the Author: is the Ordained minister of Church of North India. Currently she is working as an Executive Secretary of Women’s Concern in NCCI.
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