Reflecting lines:
“When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me”
Challenges are never enough, especially for a woman. When you think you have found a kind of balance, the inner clock ticks again! The wind start blowing, all of a sudden big waves are in sight... PMS time!!
They say it's because of high level of estrogen, due to some kind of connection with the moon... I don't know, but it feels horrible! I behave like a psychopath!
It Somehow gives relief and discontents which I was holding suddenly come out. It hurts people and later I feel worse. Last thing one can do in this time is to control the self, more like an inner revolution! You feel like a dynamite, everything and everyone can spark you up and make you blast any time. This is not the kind of life I want to live, always at the mercy of circumstances. I want to be in control of my emotions, my thoughts and my reactions. I may not be able to change the world, but I have a desperate desire to find inner balance, being strong whatever thing happens outside.
So hormones, please tell me... If everything which God created is perfect then, you definitely are. What do you want to teach me? Are you perhaps rising every month to help me to remove some dirt inside my body and my mind? If it is so I thank you... It's a great opportunity... It's never pleasant to be face to face with our repressed anger, but I guess it's a good chance to lift the rug and clean the dust which I was hiding underneath day by day!
And what do you want me to do? Stop every activity and take rest? Sounds good… If I don't force myself to be always at the 100%, I can simply slow down and relax...
Now that I stopped resisting you, the suffering is transforming. The pain remains, but it's acceptable and it's taking me deeper within...
Let me put some music and try to go more deeper into it.
It's becoming something special, which is forcing me to stay and reconnect to my inner source.
"When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be"
After some rest I feel so much better... I feel like I was forgetting something, with all my activities and plans I couldn't stop completely and stay in silence, waiting to hear His voice. Pain must be His tool to force me to surrender and come back to Him for help.
Maybe PMS is not the worse time of the month, but a blessing, a scheduled appointment with God to clean up some of the dirt and get recharged, ready to do the work in the outside world with a lighted and inspired mind! Do you men know anything about it?
Prayer
O creator God please, help me to find your voice even in the crazy mood, so I can surrender yet rise again, standing stronger on your shoulder. Amen.
Author: Rebecca Baciarelli
About the Author: Rebecca was born in Italy and now living in Kerala after her marriage with Jain Syriac Babu, whome met during a volunteer service in SCMI Bangalore in 2015. She Graduated as a Physical Educator and is currently a full-time dedicated mother of two small baby boys. Her dream and vision is to live a life of freedom according to the Truth of Christ. “Be the change that you want to see in the world” is her leading motto!
It is indeed a time to take rest and let your body do the work.. but this is luxury only for few. For women who are compelled to work with the pain and harmonal mood swings these are the days of horror and anxiety.
ReplyDeleteHope our counter parts understand the suffering and help by being patient and understanding.