But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41-42
During my days as a theological student, the feminist interpretation of Mary and Martha was clear: Leave the sphere of the house and engage in the business of the world. Jesus empowers women to discard traditional roles and follow new paths.
Fast forward several years. Changed realities after the Covid-19 outbreak, with the absence of a domestic help and responsibility for the house solely on my shoulders, threw me into the thick of household work. Being left with the chores made me rethink this aspect of women’s life.
My conclusion is chores are NOT an aspect of women’s life but a matter of human survival. Doing chores should be compared with brushing teeth. Both are necessary daily tasks -the one performed by everyone, the other by every household. And just as brushing one’s teeth does not turn a person into a good human being, getting the chores done does not turn a house into a hospitable home.
Therefore, in 2020, when gender equality has enabled women to take up all kinds of jobs and positions, it pains that running a household is still by and large the responsibility of women. It pains that women are compared as Marys and Marthas, judged by others and judging themselves based on their personal choices of work: the paid one outside or the unpaid, work inside the house. It pains that women who work outside the house are often expected to be Mary and Martha combined. It pains that a homemaker is defined by the efficiency of doing the chores and not by the warmth and love in the house.
Having said this, Jesus’ reaction to Martha irritates me and I wonder whether he did not think about the work involved in hosting a meeting with him and his followers. Who did he think would do the preparations, serve dinner? And I wonder even more, why Lazarus was not mentioned in the gospel of Luke. If he had pooled in to wash the dishes, probably the whole situation could have been avoided.
I now prefer to detach the Mary and Martha story from defining roles of women in the house and society, but rather see Jesus here caught in the messy struggles of human survival and daily routines, where we - women, men, families - grapple with the distribution of responsibilities for chores, trying to comprehend that the chores done does not guarantee a happy home, but taking up equal shares of responsibilities, opens opportunities for every family member to bloom and for houses to be built into loving homes.
I saw a reflection of this struggle and a glimpse of hope for an equal distribution of household responsibilities in a video[1] popular on social media, in which a father, who visits his daughter’s house and sees how she shoulders all responsibilities in the house besides her outside job, vows to change his own attitude first in order to implement a wider change in the minds of people and in society.
Prayer
God, help us to take or let go of our share in household chores. Give us wisdom not to define a person’s worth by efficiency in chores but by unique talent and personality. Amen.
Author: Chris Zidek.
About the Author: Chris is a theologically trained teacher with special interest in language teaching and early childhood education. Originally from Germany, she has relocated to India more than a decade ago after getting married to a Jacobite priest from Kerala. At present she teaches English to theological students and volunteers in parish ministry.
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This is a beautifully put article. New age feminism has led many people to believe that women needn't learn to cook or clean but learning basic survival skills should be something everyone should know regardless or gender. :)
ReplyDeleteMany a times, I've been in conversations with people who felt that being a feminist meant deliberately choosing to not learn such skills. Thank you for addressing this!