S3-Day 7: PMS: (when) Pain Makes (you) Surrender

Reflecting lines:

“When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary 

When troubles come, and my heart burdened be 

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence 

Until you come and sit awhile with me” 

Challenges are never enough, especially for a woman. When you think you have found a kind of balance, the inner clock ticks again! The wind start blowing, all of a sudden big waves are in sight... PMS time!! 

They say it's because of high level of estrogen, due to some kind of connection with the moon... I don't know, but it feels horrible! I behave like a psychopath! 

It Somehow gives relief and discontents which I was holding suddenly come out. It hurts people and later I feel worse. Last thing one can do in this time is to control the self, more like an inner revolution! You feel like a dynamite, everything and everyone can spark you up and make you blast any time. This is not the kind of life I want to live, always at the mercy of circumstances. I want to be in control of my emotions, my thoughts and my reactions. I may not be able to change the world, but I have a desperate desire to find inner balance, being strong whatever thing happens outside. 

So hormones, please tell me... If everything which God created is perfect then, you definitely are. What do you want to teach me? Are you perhaps rising every month to help me to remove some dirt inside my body and my mind? If it is so I thank you... It's a great opportunity... It's never pleasant to be face to face with our repressed anger, but I guess it's a good chance to lift the rug and clean the dust which I was hiding underneath day by day! 

And what do you want me to do? Stop every activity and take rest? Sounds good… If I don't force myself to be always at the 100%, I can simply slow down and relax... 

Now that I stopped resisting you, the suffering is transforming. The pain remains, but it's acceptable and it's taking me deeper within... 

Let me put some music and try to go more deeper into it. 

It's becoming something special, which is forcing me to stay and reconnect to my inner source. 

"When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary 

When troubles come, and my heart burdened be 

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence 

Until you come and sit awhile with me 

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains 

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas 

I am strong when I am on your shoulders 

You raise me up to more than I can be" 

After some rest I feel so much better... I feel like I was forgetting something, with all my activities and plans I couldn't stop completely and stay in silence, waiting to hear His voice. Pain must be His tool to force me to surrender and come back to Him for help. 

Maybe PMS is not the worse time of the month, but a blessing, a scheduled appointment with God to clean up some of the dirt and get recharged, ready to do the work in the outside world with a lighted and inspired mind! Do you men know anything about it? 

Prayer

O creator God please, help me to find your voice even in the crazy mood, so I can surrender yet rise again, standing stronger on your shoulder. Amen. 

Author: Rebecca Baciarelli 

About the Author: Rebecca was born in Italy and now living in Kerala after her marriage with Jain Syriac Babu, whome met during a volunteer service in SCMI Bangalore in 2015. She Graduated as a Physical Educator and is currently a full-time dedicated mother of two small baby boys. Her dream and vision is to live a life of freedom according to the Truth of Christ. “Be the change that you want to see in the world” is her leading motto!

S3-Day6: Leadership and Politics: Why not us?

“Next time you are about to call a girl “bossy”, say instead: she has executive leadership skills” 

Sheryl Sandberg. 

What does it take to prove that you are worthy and meritorious? Perhaps, your whole life. I am woman. Does it comply that physiologically I am weak, academically- inept, Indecisive; psychologically- frivolous; sociologically- reticent and religiously- dirty, unclean? What defines me? My credibility or my gender? Like me, for many other women their gender plays a defining role in our society. 

The life of a girl begins with a subtle affirmation that she is someone’s property. She is made clear that she must live ‘under’ the authority of a male either, father, brother or husband, or bosses (most often male)! Like a tiny plant hidden under the sheds of huge trees, she struggles to survive, to thrive to retain and proclaim her uncensored identity. Will she ever breakthrough her way to the radiance of the sunlight? Perhaps, someday! Then, who will decide what she deserves? Whether full sunshine or a ray of light. Certainly, she cannot as she is not a “decision-maker” but a “rule-taker”. All through her life she has been pruned to patriarchal norms of the society that underscores, what a woman can or cannot or rather should not decide the fate of her own life or for others as well. The society makes her believe that she is incapable to lead her own life and solve her own problems itself. She is not a leader but a follower. A follower who is bound to her ruling authorities, those who decide on behalf of her. Will she voice-out her decisions for life? Her resilience is peacefully subverted or rather forcefully! 

Just as the leading voices of women like Miriam and Noadiah are silenced in the Hebrew Bible. Two of the prophetesses, Miriam and Noadiah met with similar fate in their lives. Miriam, presumably the first Biblical prophetess (Exodus 15:20) who undoubtedly played a significant role in the History of liberation of the Hebrew, (later Israel), ultimately singled out and silenced for her audacity. Similarly, Noadiah who probably was a leader of a prophetic band was condemned and silenced. Both characters exerted certain qualities of leadership and looked the authority on their faces. In the context of the patriarchal power structure of the Hebrew society, both these women posed a threat to the male leadership and thus their capability was perceived as vulnerability and their voice as wild dissent. 

Often is female leadership treated as a threat. This threat is built upon a whole set of gender stereotypes and gender-oriented prejudices. The politics of leadership rests upon prejudices about ‘ideal’ woman/ or a ‘macho’ leadership. Gender-leadership gap is consistent and systematic, it begins right from home and continues in classroom, workplace, religious places affecting socially, politically, economically and so on. Therefore, gender integrated leadership development should begin at home so that its ethical values should be inculcated into larger social space. Afterall, women leadership is still an exception but never the rule. Therefore, never let a woman ask you, “why not me?” But, the real question is “will you continue to suppress women around you or will you move away from our spaces that you have occupied?” 

Prayer 

Creator God, we thank you for creating us in your image, all genders equal in your sight. You also created women wonderfully and inherently like men to lead for the welfare of all in the society. Guide us, O Lord, with the essential truth of equality, love and respect so that we could be the change that you intended. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen 

Author: Akanksha Samuel Makasare 

About the Author: Akanksha earned her Bachelor of Divinity from Allahabad Bible Seminary, Prayagraj and Master of Theology in the Department of Old Testament from Union Biblical Seminary, Pune. She is currently working as an Assistant Professor at Allahabad Bible Seminary.

S3-Day5: God Amidst Dirty Dishes and Laundry

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” 

Luke 10:41-42

During my days as a theological student, the feminist interpretation of Mary and Martha was clear: Leave the sphere of the house and engage in the business of the world. Jesus empowers women to discard traditional roles and follow new paths. 

Fast forward several years. Changed realities after the Covid-19 outbreak, with the absence of a domestic help and responsibility for the house solely on my shoulders, threw me into the thick of household work. Being left with the chores made me rethink this aspect of women’s life. 

My conclusion is chores are NOT an aspect of women’s life but a matter of human survival. Doing chores should be compared with brushing teeth. Both are necessary daily tasks -the one performed by everyone, the other by every household. And just as brushing one’s teeth does not turn a person into a good human being, getting the chores done does not turn a house into a hospitable home. 

Therefore, in 2020, when gender equality has enabled women to take up all kinds of jobs and positions, it pains that running a household is still by and large the responsibility of women. It pains that women are compared as Marys and Marthas, judged by others and judging themselves based on their personal choices of work: the paid one outside or the unpaid, work inside the house. It pains that women who work outside the house are often expected to be Mary and Martha combined. It pains that a homemaker is defined by the efficiency of doing the chores and not by the warmth and love in the house. 

Having said this, Jesus’ reaction to Martha irritates me and I wonder whether he did not think about the work involved in hosting a meeting with him and his followers. Who did he think would do the preparations, serve dinner? And I wonder even more, why Lazarus was not mentioned in the gospel of Luke. If he had pooled in to wash the dishes, probably the whole situation could have been avoided. 

I now prefer to detach the Mary and Martha story from defining roles of women in the house and society, but rather see Jesus here caught in the messy struggles of human survival and daily routines, where we - women, men, families - grapple with the distribution of responsibilities for chores, trying to comprehend that the chores done does not guarantee a happy home, but taking up equal shares of responsibilities, opens opportunities for every family member to bloom and for houses to be built into loving homes. 

I saw a reflection of this struggle and a glimpse of hope for an equal distribution of household responsibilities in a video[1] popular on social media, in which a father, who visits his daughter’s house and sees how she shoulders all responsibilities in the house besides her outside job, vows to change his own attitude first in order to implement a wider change in the minds of people and in society. 

Prayer

God, help us to take or let go of our share in household chores. Give us wisdom not to define a person’s worth by efficiency in chores but by unique talent and personality. Amen. 

Author: Chris Zidek. 

About the Author: Chris is a theologically trained teacher with special interest in language teaching and early childhood education. Originally from Germany, she has relocated to India more than a decade ago after getting married to a Jacobite priest from Kerala. At present she teaches English to theological students and volunteers in parish ministry. 

Reference:

[1] https://youtu.be/sEqQkQ_aMLk

S3-Day 4: God in the Closet

“Closetedness,” or being “in the closet,” is when persons of LGBTQIA identity live without disclosing their sexual orientation or gender identity. When a person is born with a penis or vagina, society designates them as male and female respectively along with gender specified roles. However, the gender or sex assigned at birth may not accord with one’s gender preference or sexual orientation. 

Society assumes a perverted understanding of the LGBTQIA community based on how they perform physical and sexual activities. Thus, fails to see their ever-present inner turmoil. Even genuine love-based relationships that the LGBTQIA community encompasses are blatantly ignored and disregarded by society due to cultural and religious beliefs, ignorance, or homo/transphobic attitudes. Such discrimination through public and religious institutions, result in the oppression of LGBTQIA persons’, pushing them to remain closeted and ostracized everyone around. Some LGBTQIA persons choose celibacy to escape overt and covert discrimination; some hide their relationships, some go through forced marriages, while some others give-up living. 

During my B.D days, I had several discussions with colleagues and friends on homosexuality, mostly because of assignments. I observed that students would write and talk about being in solidarity with the LGBTQIA community in their papers. Nevertheless, outside the class or paper, being LGBTQIA was still treated as a sin. For many it is all about, “Love the sinner, and hate the sin.” 

Society, and seminarians, in particular, ought to move beyond solidarity talk and accept friends identifying themselves as LGBTQIA persons. By accepting, I mean affirming them wholly, seeing them as ordinary people, ordaining them, allowing same-sex marriage, giving them equal opportunities, jobs and leadership positions in Church and in the society and quintessentially affirming the non-binary LGBTQIA as a normal discerning process identity. 

To reiterate, being gay/lesbian/queer is not a sin. If we still think that the Bible is condemning homosexuality/Queerness, we are reading the Bible wrong. Due to misinterpretation of the Bible, the church that is supposed to be a welcoming community has become toxic, judgmental, and non-Christ-like. When we believe that Christ came to challenge us, we should also believe that Christ overturned everything we knew of our binary understanding of the world. A baby should be conceived because of sex. But Christ overturned that notion and was conceived by the Holy Spirit. It was always birth and death, but Christ was resurrected; radically flipping our understanding of life and death. A person can either be fully divine or fully human, but Christ was fully divine and fully human. If Christ challenged the binaries, who are we to live in a world of our binary understanding of sexual identity? 

The problem is not the persons from the LGBTQIA community being in the closet but rather the homo/transphobic attitude that coerces people of LGBTQIA identities to remain closeted. Society might condemn, judge, and ostracize the LGBTQIA community, but God is present in the closets that is perceived as dirty. However, the question remains, if we believe in such a God, then why not accept the LGBTQIA persons? Come, let us make our space a welcoming space for all. 

Prayer 

Loving God enable us to be more Christ-like and walk with the so-called “other” in this broken world. Help us each put to those who remain hidden for fear of being condemned so that they too might live wholly. Grant us the courage to resist all forms of injustice and become one in you. Amen. 

Author: Gloria Venuh 

About the Author: Gloria completed her B.D from United Theological College and is currently doing Master of Arts in Theological Studies, Columbia Theological Seminary, Georgia Atlanta.

S3- Day 3: Love Yourself: Speak for Yourself

Reflecting Verse:  "Children are a heritage from the Lord."

Psalm 127:3

A Letter to the Humanity

Dear Humanity 

My name is Infant. I am three days old. I come from the other realm of “female kingdom.” On the behalf of every 3-day old in the female kingdom, I want to convey a message. At their first glance on me they utter, “Oh no! It’s a Girl.” I was killed with asphyxiation simply because I have “Vagina”. I am not the only victim of female infanticide. My friends were also killed through poisoning, choking, drowning, deliberate negligence and gendercide. 

I heard that the social pressure of dowry, economic destitution, gender bias and many such unjust patriarchal practices have put us in the list of so called “Missing-Women” in India. So, it seems like we were murdered out of poverty, superstition, myths, gender bias and your greed for money, power and control. While discussing among ourselves, we (victims of female foeticides and infanticides) came up with these questions. Do you have any justification for killing us? Isn’t a murder, a murder, whether you are one day old or hundred years old? 

A study in 2011, estimates that more than 12 million girls were killed in India over the last three decades. Girl children were secretly and brutally eliminated from the family system. Seems like the practising of female infanticide does not disgust you. But my gender, if girl, is dirty. 

My life is a gift from the Lord. Who gave you the authority to kill me because I am a girl? You may destroy my body but not my soul. Oh you, women slaughterer! Are you terrified of the Corona Virus? You are wearing mask, using sanitizer, consuming multi-vitamins and what not, to protect yourself. You do not want to die, but you kill us mercilessly just because I am a girl. Isn’t life (including you oh! Murderer) originated from a women’s Womb? Do you think that by killing us you have proven your superiority, or do you think your life will become less burden, richer and happier? I curse to you oh! Women killers. May you never find peace. 

I am angry, with the corrupt evil system and frustrated knowing that I cannot do anything. The superstition, the ignorance, gender bias, myths, patriarchy, and your atrocious greed is way too dark and evil to comprehend. Then, does this mean have I lost my faith on humanity? Not yet. For I have noticed that many men and women, are fighting to bring this evil practice to an end. 

BTS’s (Bangtan Boys, a Korean music band) inspired many with his remarkable speech, “Love Yourself, Speak Yourself” but I was killed even before I could love myself or speak up for myself. I urge all the citizens of the earth to ‘speak up’ for us. 

Let us see the world...

Let us feel the world...

Let us love ourselves...

These precious lives of ours are gone, many girls like us will be born to many couples. Allow them to live life to the fullest. For if I was not killed, I would have been your friend, or your sister, or your doctor, or a Mother of someone today. 

Well I think, your silence to this injustice is a crime. A sin you will never be forgiven for. If you are reading this, may you be disturbed by this injustice done to the many “unborn-women.” We cry to you “is there anyone out there who will hear our cries and voice for us?” 

Thanking you 

Yours Sincerely,

Infant,

The Unborn 

Prayer

God of life and justice, we are all created in your image which shows, women are no lesser being, restore the dignity of the Women. Guide us to become instruments of justice and agents of transformation, so the world gears-up for a cultural reset. Amen. 

Author: Asai Soror 

About the Author: Soro belongs to the Tangkhul Tribe from Manipur. She is currently pursuing her Doctoral Research in the Department of Missiology and Ecumenics at the United Theological College, Bangalore. 

S3-Day 2: Unheard Voices: Women For Sale

Trafficking of women is the movement of women and girls from their safe zone to unsafe zone using violence, deception or coercion and exploiting them for financial or personal gain. It can also be defined as the abuse of power and exploitation of the weak by the strong. Women and girls are mostly trafficked for sexual exploitation and marriage where the sex ratio of women is less. Trafficking is the fastest growing organized crime and a worst form of modern-day slavery. 

I would like to share one story, once narrated by a girl I met. 

There was a girl from a dysfunctional family where abuse and violence were an everyday affair. Her stepfather used to sexually abuse her which she endured as her fate. As she grew, she fell in love with a guy who ignited the light of love and hope in her life. She felt loved like never before, because she was only tormented thus far. Therefore, when she found someone, her world changed. She wanted was to spend the rest of her life with a person one who promised her a glorious rosy life. They both planned and eloped one day. It felt like she went a thousand miles away from her nightmares of abuse, holding her dream of freedom with the one she loved. They spent that night together and the next morning she woke up to find herself, all alone, in a dark room. She was petrified. She burst into tears and crying for help in vain. Darkness surrounded her making her unaware of the outside world. Later, after a week a man entered the room while she laid on the ground in hunger and frustration. She cried to him for her lover. To her dismay, he was not there to help her. That man told her what was waiting for her next. Initially she denied and cried for help but there was no remorse. It was then that she realized, she was sold. Delicious food was placed on a table, but to reach that food she had to cross the man waiting to devour her. The only option for her was to submit to that man and agree to whatever he says, to feed her empty stomach. She was thus engulfed into sex-trade. 

This is one of the many stories that exist espousing how traffickers/pimps usually target the economically or socially vulnerable women who are trying to escape poverty, discrimination, violence in the family or having a history of child abuse etc. All these perpetrators are usually the ones known to them or someone who promises them a rosy life. The girls/women are then strangled in such a way that it becomes impossible for them to escape from the knot. After they are sold, their life is not in their hands. They must be submissive to the masters who bought them. 

Women are mostly objectified. They are thought as objects that can be bought, sold or destroyed. Sexual exploitation, physical violence and mental trauma are very common for victims of such objectification. They are stripped of rights over their lives and are compelled to do whatever their masters command. Trafficking is the violation of human rights and is illegal, though, it is an everyday event. Young girls go missing around us to which we turn a blind-eye. We judge the girl for whatever happens to her, be it rape, murder, trafficking etc. For society, it is always the “girl” who is wrong! 

As believers/Christians we need to be sensitive to all these issues and ask how Jesus would react to this situation if it happened around him. Would he fight for their justice or would he just talk about “personal” salvation when life is already a living hell for these women? We ought to support those working for such cause and fight till this brutality ends. 

The first step to fight against trafficking is to empower girls, make them emotionally strong, open opportunities for them, and teach them self-defense and teach your boys to respect women and seek their consent FOR EVERYTHING. Shall we begin here? 

Prayer 

God of love, we seek your justice for all the victims of human trafficking who are used as an object to be bought and sold. Give them hope and strength on facing all the hardships. And give us the heart to oppose such evils that happen around us. Lead us to work in all possible ways for their liberation. Amen. 

Author: Elishiba Sunar 

About Author: Elishiba, hails from Sikkim. She is a member of the Church of North India - Diocese of Eastern Himalaya. She is currently pursuing her Bachelor of Divinity at Bishop’s College. Her area of interest is Gender studies. She is committed to work for social justice.

S3-Day 1: Ordination for Women: A Big Question Mark (?)

After my Bachelor of Divinity (B.D.) with full hope and excitement, I approached many Churches in my diocese for work but the only response I got from them was a “no.” I wondered “why.” When questioned, "am I not qualified enough?" The response I got was “you are a woman and there is no place for a woman in our church.” What? Am I unwanted to God than the men working in the church? Does God not love me because I am a woman? What am I, a woman, actually allowed to do? Many reasons were given why women were not ordained. They blamed us for bringing evil into this world. Even quote Paul’s statements against women like “women should be silent in the churches,” (1 Cor. 14:34); “I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority…” (1 Timothy. 2:12) and so on. 

These verses, to me, seem so unfair. Is God not a God of justice, goodness and compassion? What good is it to give me a gift and deny me the opportunity? If God does not like or value me the same as God values the men, just because I am a female, is God truly good? Can I still follow “Him”? Does God only want men to be ordained and not women? 

Today, women’s ordination is related to the men enacting control over roles women ought play in churches. Some of us who take scripture seriously and have a great passion for theology and ministry feel frustrated, but forced to “shut up and be passive wimps”. We cannot stay silent anymore. We women must defend our call to pastoral ministry. Our personhood and dignity is questioned by those who doubt the validity of our calling by denying ordination. 

In many churches’ we are not admitted to ordained ministries and therefore excluded from fully participating in the life and mission of the Church. Many churches refuse to recognize us as equal members in Christ when it comes to ordained ministries of the Church. We have been brainwashed into believing in our inferiority and dirtiness. Having accepted our inferior role, we bring into the church the taboos against us operative in our own indigenous cultures. 

However, going through the gospels it is clear that Jesus treated women as persons with dignity and worth. He gave great importance to women to the extent of contradicting Jewish customs, laws, and traditions. For instance, he allowed a woman with a flow of blood to touch him by brushing aside the Mosaic law that declared women to be impure or dirty during menstruation and childbirth (Mt. 9:20-22). Jesus himself spoke and acted always in the context of his time reaching out to those in need and fulfilling their needs. Therefore, let us be agents of change taking direction from Jesus. Let us attempt to identify the issue of ordination in the church, and build life-affirming communities amidst the concept of dirtiness that surrounds women in the church. 

Prayer

O God of justice and equality, guide us in envisioning and creating a church where men and women equally participate and minister together. Help us to take inclusive  and compassionate steps toward empowering a human culture where your love, justice and peace shall prevail. Amen. 

Author: Gifta Angline Kumar. 

About the Author: Gifta completed her Bachelor of Divinity from the Bethel Bible College, Guntur and Master of Theology from the North India Institute of Post Graduate Theological Studies, Kolkata. She is currently pursuing Doctorate of Theology from South Asia Theological Research Institute, Serampore.