S3-Day 17: Education is Genderless

Reflecting verse: 

41 But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; 42 there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:41,42 

Growing up among girls in the family, education was important for us. My father being the only male in our family, with four female siblings along with my mother we always had the notion that, ‘without education we will not be respected in society. 

However, it was not as easy as we thought it would be. The society we live in is patriarchal in nature. A man is given utmost respect and he controls the society and family, while a girl does not have a voice even if she is well-qualified. Sadly, after attainting a certain age a girl is forced quit studies and married away, sooner the better. 

Over the years I have heard the same words, again and again, either from elders or family members telling my sisters and me, it is not necessary for us to complete all the educational degrees. The reason being, we are only girls in the family. I have heard them telling me or even to my sisters that; ‘Don’t study for long,’ ‘Get married soon,’ ‘after getting the degrees, what will you do,’ ‘while spending years studying, man will not propose you.’ ‘even if you are qualified you will not get a job.’ 

I am reminded of an incident, one relative told me, ‘you are the eldest daughter in your family so don’t trouble your parents, just find a man and get married.’ The most common, funny but frustrating word was, ‘if a girl is too qualified a man feels ashamed to propose for marriage, which makes the girl ends up being a spinster.’ Spinster in our society are disdain. 

If I think of all these comments, it makes me indignant, sad, and sometimes disappointed. 

I believe, if I were a boy I would have never heard of such things. People would encourage men to get the highest education and achieve the highest post (job). Fortunately, my sisters and me have almost reached the milestone in getting education all because of our supportive parents. However, many girls might not have the same opportunities like us. I am sure many girls in our society go through such experiences. Those comments mentioned above are the reasons why a girl never finishes her schooling and chooses to get married. Several times it is the lack of education that forces a girl to be a house wife under dominant husband. 

God never despises anyone for their gender. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to his teaching. Jesus never said to Mary that you are a girl, so you do not need education, instead when Martha her sister complaint to Him of Mary not helping her, Jesus replied, “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will never be taken away from her” (Ref. Luke 10:38-42). 

I would like to challenge you to spread the thought that, all the girls whether young or old never to be discouraged with what the society tells, but ‘achieve the heights and fulfil dreams and be powerful.’ 

Jesus would intend, a girl-child’s education as priority, never discriminating her or holding her back. Everyone without any gender discrimination has the right to education of their own choice and be educated and empowered. 

Prayer

Dear God, the source of all wisdom and understanding, we pray for all the girls in our society and in the world. May you give us courage to face challenges and grant us the power to reach the heights. Amen. 

Author: Imtienla Namo 

About the author: Imtienla Namo hails from Mokokchung District of Nagaland State. She is a graduate from the Alder College, Kohima. She completed her Bachelor of Divinity from Clark Theological College and studied Master of Theology in the department of Pastoral Ministry: Counselling from United Theological College. 

S3-Day 16: Wombs for Rent

‘Wombs for rent’ is a general notion of people about surrogacy. Some have not even heard of this, though it is widely practiced in India and globally. It has become a heated topic of debate (at least for some days) among some social/media circles after the union cabinet’s move on 24th August 2016, where the surrogacy regulation bill was approved banning commercial surrogacy. 

Surrogacy is a method whereby a woman (the surrogate mother) agrees to bear a child for others, who will become the child’s parents after birth. It is often supported by legal agreements. People may seek surrogacy when pregnancy is medically impossible, high risk factor in pregnancy or when a single man or a male couple wishes to have a child. (In India after the surrogacy regulation bill this is restricted to legally wedded infertile Indian couples) 

Being a woman, I could understand the psychological and emotional circumstances one goes through during her pregnancy. It is not simple. However, despite struggles, women are ready to bear kids for others in their wombs. Isn’t that great? Fulfilling somebody’s dream by helping them come out from their agony is divine. Ironically, I never heard anybody from anywhere honor a surrogate mother for this great contribution. 

Some movies (both in Bollywood and Mollywood) have dealt with this subject. In my observation, all actresses who played the role of a surrogate mother in the movies (Preity Zinta in ‘Chori chori chupke chupke’; Shabana Azmi in ‘ Doosri Dulhan’; Rachana Narayanan Kutty in Lucky Star and Roma Asrani in “Shake sphere MA Malayalam”) were those who fulfilled so-called norms of the society in their physical appearance, complexion and even the language they spoke. But the reality is something else. (I accept the fact that we cannot expect for in a fantasy movie, but there are a lot of drastic changes happened to movies in local languages. If those movies had released now, it might have been more realistic.) 

Surrogate mothers in movies and real life are extremely different. There are a plenty of videos available in YouTube about the real-life experience of those poor women. Movies portray a romanticized harmonious life of surrogate mother and those who seek surrogacy. It shows that they get a lot of privileges from people around them, especially from the female partner who seeks surrogacy and the love and care from the male partner. This is quite illogical in my point of view. It may not be possible in real life. 

The surrogate mothers may (as groups) get admitted in any of the hostels run by the mediators. Poor economic background and other social-familial circumstances lead them into surrogacy. Some of them are ready to reveal themselves but the so-called society does not want to mark their identity. They have a serious identity crisis. They are at times treated as prostitutes (lack of knowledge about surrogacy matters here). In ‘Chori chori chupke chupke’ Preity Zinta, and in ‘Doosri Dulhan’ Shabana Azmi were prostitutes and taken from brothel centers. This may be the general message passing to the society. 

Even though legal boundaries exist, many poor women are cheated by mediators. Once after the agreement period of surrogacy no one will be there to care her psychological as well as physiological wellbeing. She may/may not get support from her family. There should be some follow-up from the government, post-delivery. 

Once I happened to see an interview of a surrogate mother and she said, “the doctor and the mediator told them that there is no physical as well as emotional relationship in between the child and the surrogate mother”. You are “just” a carrier, in that very word “just” they are forced to forget the pain and emotion they have (This is like how new generation churches and some people who follow Christianity ignore the women counterpart in Christ’s birth). She is human too, not a machine. The baby is a part of her body and soul. It is an indefinable experience. Some are so audacious to compare surrogacy to the “beautiful" lotus comes out of (dirty) mud, as if the womb was dirty and gave birth to an immaculate baby. This should be changed. “Surrogate Mothers who contribute with Pain are divine in every sense as a Mother.” What will you do about it? 

Prayer 

O God of wisdom, justice and truth, thank you for the diversity you have given to us. O God, our mother and father bless us and make us the surrogates of your unconditional love and peace. Grant us the heart to embrace the multifariousness and hidden personalities /individuals in their identity crisis. Help us be a part of their justice-struggle. Amen.

Author: Ancy R 

About the Author: Ancy hails from Kerala. She is a feminist and sides the people who are oppressed and treated unjustly. She reflects on God among these people than the altar. He likes to travel. She is of the view that travelling and being able to interact with people would definitely build the learning curve and supplement a great deal to enhance her personality.