S3-Day 26: Dowry: A Modern-Day Business

A friend of mine who is pursuing her PhD in USA called me a few weeks ago. We were mutually sharing recent life-events. Suddenly, I remembered about another friend’s marriage and shared about the turn of events before and after marriage. While I was telling her that the groom whom she was to be married is a Doctor, she smiled and asked me, “What is the present rate for a Doctor in Jaffna?” I said, “More than 5 million plus a house.” (that’s the dowry a Doctor is given to marry a woman) 

My dear friends in Christ, this is the life-threatening evil that is prevailing in most South Asian countries. The factors that moots the value of dowry depends on educational qualifications, job, place, caste, family background, religion, and even the country of the bride or the groom. I have seen many women who are left unmarried because of their poor family background. And in some extreme situations, they have committed suicide along with their parents. 

As a Christian it is evil to encourage dowry. One must feel ashamed and dirty for being silent when it is exchanged in front of our eyes. The schemes to amass dowry are very crooked. A “diligent” search for rich families, especially those with a lone child, or else they inquire about the salaries and the properties the family owns. Grooms and their parents intend to enquire about family name, caste, community etc. This form of modernized dowry seeking is similar to that of property developers who look investment with profit in the future. This is how women are objectified and commercialized in the name of wedlock. 

The Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), and after creating the man God made a woman and brought her to the man (Genesis 2:22). Jesus insisted in Matthew that God expected both to be one (Matthew 19:5,6). While giving Eve to Adam, God’s expectation was to make a partner to console each other and accompany in the ups and down of one's life, not to find partners for investment in a well-planned, demanding and abusive business called “MARRIAGE”. 

It is time for us to introspect and question all the injustices that exist around this evil called dowry. I know a person who is now divorced and raising her child with the help of her parents even after paying 2.9 million as dowry. It would be hard for you to would not believe if I said the reason for the divorce was “not paying the balance 600 thousand as the demand was 3.5 million.” Stories of women sent home like this are common to you as well. Just imagine what would their life turn out to be, if there was no one to support them. Yet, there are women who long for a marriage with eyes full of tears; there are women who are also left unmarried; there were women who have committed suicide, and there are women sold for money. Is this the reason for which we believe, God constituted marriage? 

We also all know the story of Jacob. Laban made Jacob work 14 years for his daughters. But in Genesis 31, we can observe that Rachel and Leah were mentioning that “our father has sold us”. It’s a statement that opposes the dowry system. They told this in a context where women were oppressed. 

We as Christ’s community are called to proclaim the Good News to the poor and the needy. We know that many women are being silenced by dominant men and their families. We must raise our voice against this evil. It is our responsibility to identify and bring these issues out those who are affected. It is when we stand in solidarity with the victims of dowry system, we participate in their healing and support them to lead peaceful and dignified lives. Let us at the moment, do what Jesus would have done, “do justice”! 

Prayer 

Dear God, we know that you are the source of love, mercy and peace. We seek justice for the victims of domestic violence. Stimulate our hearts to be agents of your reign, in voicing for justice in this world. Encourage us and the women’s movements to help the affected women everywhere. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen. 

Author: Jennifer Rochelle 

About the Author: Jennifer is a member of the CSI Colombo Church. She is currently working as a teacher at the Ladies’ College, Colombo, Sri Lanka.