S3-Day 24: Child Marriage: I too have a VOICE and a Right to LIFE

“Yes, it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” 

Mathew 15:27 

I recently saw a very heart wrenching Lebanese film called “Capernaum”, which is a story of a 12-year-old boy named Zain who is convicted for assaulting a man who marries his younger sister. He knows the unfortunate fate of his sister and tries hard to protect her and unsuccessfully fights to stop her marriage. This movie shows his life-story and how he files a civil law suit against his parents, the reason he says is “Because I was born” 

My first experience with Child Marriage was when working among the Warli and Kathkari tribes in Palghar region of Maharashtra, we were invited to a marriage of a girl whose family used to come for church worship. Even though the marriage was being conducted in the tribal traditions, they wanted us to attend and pray for the newly married couple. My very first reaction was reporting to the police and stopping the marriage, be a liberator which as evangelists I thought was our primary concern. But I was educated that the consequence of this action would be the family being ostracized from the community. Additionally, the girl would not be able to marry in future and the probability of the family considering suicide. Thus, I accepted my naivety, but as a mark of protest decided not to attend the wedding ceremony and approve of what is happening by partaking in it. Which of course resulted in us being unpopular among the family and they decided to stop coming for Sunday worship. There were more girls or women like her, I slowly realized during my stay there: 

A young girl would often come to us crying, to pray for her as she was married for more than 2 years and was so heartbroken that she was not able to conceive, her fear of being barren and facing the consequences of that, at a tender age of 17. 

Another young woman mother of a 5-year-old boy, her husband left her for a younger woman. She was without a job, no education, no money and left with the only option to live with her in-laws, with her husband living next doors with his new young bride. Later when this man’s new wife gave birth to a child, his first wife was “magnanimous” enough to take care of the child. The community including the church members from the community valorizing her service and failing to recognize her helplessness disguised as valor and sacrifice. 

In Jesus' name, we strive to take the good news to the marginalized communities and we try to rid them of the “evils” in their culture, but we fail to see the true evils that plague these communities and conveniently turn a blind eye. 

When I saw Zain’s struggle in the movie Capernaum, and how he raised his voice from jail against his parents, his words were defiant, “Life is dog shit, filthier than the shoes on my feet. I am living in hell, I was expecting to be a good man, loved and respected, but even God does not want that. God wants us to be floor mats to be stepped upon”. His words reminded me of the Canaanite women who pleads to Jesus to heal her “demon-possessed” daughter. When Jesus initially responded to her saying, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” Mathew15:26, she challenges Jesus, negotiates with him for her rights and her daughter’s right to have a whole life. Eventually Jesus grants her wishes and calls her “Woman of Great Faith”. 

Writing this reflection made me realize liberation can only come from our own suffering and understanding those who suffer, and not from the obligation to spread the good news. And hence as Church it is our duty to create spaces for the conveniently ignored voices or voices repressed in the name of culture and tradition. The great faith of these marginalized women and communities is manifested only when they raise their voices to alleviate their sufferings. That is what Jesus did, and what he expects us to do, our great commission.

Prayer

Dear God, help the innumerable children who struggle and fight social evils like child marriage. Give them the courage to raise their voices against such injustices. Help us to understand those who suffer, and thus make spaces for the many unheard voices to be heard. 

Author: Shruti Rajan 

About the Author: Software Professional from Bangalore. Also completed the Diploma in Proficiency in Counselling course from United Theological College, Bangalore in 2018. Belongs to the Marthoma Church and worked as part of the Marthoma Maharashtra Mission, Mumbai Diocese for 2 years among the Warli and Kathkari tribes in Jawhar, Palghar District.